Josef Hader

Josef Hader with his show HADER ON ICE: “There’s always something. Either my feet go numb. Or they itch. Then I can’t catch my breath when I walk faster. Or I break out in a sweat. Then I start freezing again. I don’t enjoy my food anymore, sex is boring, my trousers are too tight. What on earth is going on? – It must all be down to this climate change, mustn’t it? Temperatures in summer are like in the tropics! That’s why there are suddenly these huge insects! They didn’t exist in the old days! If they sting you, you get a bump that won’t go away for months! They’re probably all genetically modified. And the plants! They’re going a bit daft now too. The plants are going mad! They’re taking over everything now! I haven’t left the house since. My theory is that the plants want to reclaim control of the planet. They’re all connected underground via their roots. Worldwide! The plants have a secret plan. They want the total destruction of Western culture and Austrian folk rock ’n’ roll. It’s all going to be replaced by, er, photosynthesis.”